there are bells outside my house.
bells. bells. bells and birds and a parrot who whistles
cat calls when pretty girls walk by.
they are playing now. a little symphony.
i just went for a swim.
did i tell you there is a pool
surrounded by hummingbirds?
i have to cry-swim. it is so pretty.
and now the thunder has come out.
i love thunder.
i took a long walk in the sun.
and my legs ache. my face is warm.
there is also a garden. and a little fountain.
and mountains and hot-springs and cobble-stone
streets and many beautiful people's faces.
wrinkled and young. old and just born.
hand-in-hand.
the sun brings such pretty skin
to people who are always outdoors. i am envious
of their health, their pace of living, their children playing
outside on the streets till long after midnight.
i envy the people standing eating tacos from the night stands illuminated
by old christmas lights. the food, the colors, the flowers everywhere.
the people surrounded by their families. i want to absorb it all. i want to belong
to it. i don't want to be looking in on it.
i am romantic, yes, but tell me of anything better. even one thing.
better than being with people you love and eating tacos standing
up under the moonlight among the churches and the colored streamers.
tell me one thing. i can't imagine it. nothing is prettier.
the apartment is filled with day of the dead skulls and pinatas.
and the backyard is suffused with cactii. it is perfect for me.
i love it.
which reminds me. i am off to get some of the holy agave.
the numinous cactii, which is really more closely linked
to the lily.
they export all the bad stuff. the tequila here is sacred.
it is god's drink.
and god is everywhere in this place.
and i don't even believe in god. but i feel something so palpable
when i am here.
i want to dissolve into the wind and desert sand and the strange
blossoms that emerge from the cactii. i want to be soluble and
not made of parts. i want to vanish into the color and lights.
i want to be part of the earth and the sky and no longer
walk upon it.
i want to be it.
i want to be water
and to travel that way.
forever.
