bad mood

today i am in a really bad mood
like i want to squish

really soft little things

not in a sexy good way but
kind of in a badass way

"screw you soft nice little things"
"you never did nothing but make me miserable"

but then

i can't


they are just

too cute


sometimes i think the world is full of assholes

and that that

is really funny

people who do dumb shit like

o i dont know

stealing cars
lying to their friends
rippin off money
from their mothers' purses

funny because their triumphs are often so
fumbling and pathetic

and then sometimes

i think

the world really is full of
a bunch of dumb assholes

and it makes me

i want

i want the long cool hands of time
to move more slowly over
my body i want

to be showered with love at all times
i want your calm goodness and humor
washing over me at every occasion i want

a small studio of my own inside
an even smaller
garden i want

to invite a man for tea and call him
my husband i want
to be debt free i want

flourishing and flourishes and nourishment
at every turn i want

to be able to sleep at night i want
more serenity and travelling and hope popsicles
flying everywhere i want

caskets made out of bags
stone cold sugar

and i want your heart in my mouth